


sinners like us

by crytalstellar



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Reader Insert, Romance, Spoilers, more tags to be added later, secret 02 spoilers, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 22:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8419081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crytalstellar/pseuds/crytalstellar
Summary: For days there's been a boy in the hospital room next door who won't stop screaming. And, against your better judgement, you decide to find out who exactly this guy is.





	1. screamer

**Author's Note:**

> Bah. I meant to have this up forever ago. But here it is after 20 billion years. For anyone who might have read Entangled, one of me FE fics, the title for this fic is actually the original title for Entangled.
> 
> Anyway, um, yeah, so this fic will probably get darker later on, and tags will be added to reflect that. Probably not for everyone ahaha.

Screamers, you’ve heard, are fairly common at the hospital. The list of reasons why people scream in the hospital goes on and on. But you know, if anything, screamers are dealt with relatively quickly.  


Except for this one.

For the past two days, you’ve been hearing the young man (if his voice is any indication) in the room next door on and off screaming his lungs out. You haven’t been able to understand what he’s been screaming, but from the tone, it sounds like he’s making some very loud and very angry threats, which makes you wonder why he hasn’t been moved to the psych ward, or at the very least, sedated.

If anything, this young man’s special treatment is likely connected to some special connections.

Against your better judgement, you decide, sometime after midnight when the hustle and bustle of the hospital has died down, to see who exactly your mystery neighbor is. You know the nurses would advise you to refrain from wandering the hospital, especially at night, and especially when your destination is the mystery screamer’s room, but you’re determined to see who this guy is.

You peek outside your room, and once the coast is clear you tip-toe down to the room next door. A gentle tug of the door reveals that it’s open and you wonder why someone would give the raging screamer the ability of leaving his room and potentially wreak havoc on the hospital. You slip into the room, shutting the door behind you so that if a nurse happens to pass the room they’re none the wiser.

You turn, expecting to see the screamer fast asleep in his bed, but instead he appears to be wide awake and staring through the window up toward the sky. There’s something about his silhouette that captivates you find yourself gravitating toward him. Your shoes squeak tiny bit as you move across the floor and the young man visibly twitches and slowly turns to face you.

If anything, you weren’t expecting Mr. Mystery Screamer to be so handsome. Your jaw drops a little when your make eye contact with his beautiful, yet somehow eerie mint green eyes. He frowns deeply, clearly not pleased to have a visitor.

“Who the hell are you?” he demands.

“A visitor from next door,” You point in the direction of the room you came from.You hesitantly inch toward his bed. “You’re quite loud, you know.”

“Why are you here?” he hisses.

“I… just wanted to know who you were since… like I said, you’re kind of loud.”

“Get out of my sight,” he snarls lowly and you’re vaguely surprised that he isn’t screaming. Perhaps he’s trying to be considerate which leads you to believe that perhaps this screamer isn’t all that bad.

You can feel your heart pounding by the time you reach the edge of his bed. There’s something about this guy that makes him seem dangerous and you think that it may be a mistake to get that close. However, more than the danger, there’s something really lonely about him.

“Did you not hear me?” His voice starts to get a little louder and he lunges forward to grab you, but you quickly step back. He growls, obviously frustrated that you dodged him.

You flash an apologetic smile. “I know better than to let my guard down around a screamer.”

He glares daggers at you, but makes no move to try and grab you again. You figure that you’re safe at a distance and decide to just stay there and watch him silently. He, in kind, scowls at you and the both you continue to stare each other down for a few more moments. Finally, he looks away, “Leave.”

“…You… seem kind of lonely, so I don’t really want to,” you admit after a moment. It’s a bit strange, you’ll admit, but there’s something about this guy that makes you not want to leave him on his own. It probably doesn’t help that you’re not too keen on staying on your own either.

His expression appears to soften for a fraction of a second. “I said leave!”

“… can I come back tomorrow?”

He answers your question with a murderous glare. It’s a little scary, but he doesn’t seem like he’s going to jump up and kill you, at least he won’t as long as you keep your distance. You offer him a small smile before you quietly sneak out of the room, feeling his eyes staring holes into your back until you close the door behind you.

* * *

“Why the hell are you here?!” the mystery screamer hisses when you slip into his room the night after your first visit.

You smile at him, appearing to be completely unperturbed by his harsh tone. “You never said I couldn’t come back.”

After picking a spot against the wall to lean against and add, as an afterthought, “Though, I did hesitate after hearing you scream about how you wanted to destroy everyone, or something like that.”

“I will!” he tells you angrily. “As soon as I’m well again… I’ll destroy everyone! Even you…”

You stare at him blankly for a moment before offering a soft smile. “…Okay.”

The boy’s expression changes. It’s obvious he wasn’t expecting that sort of answer. You look away from him and to his open window where the moon is shining. “It’s a little morbid, but… I suppose I’d always wondered what it’s like… Maybe you’ll be able to do what I never could.”

You turn back to face him. “Anyway. I won’t ask you any questions or even really say anything for that matter if you don’t want me to… so… can I stay here?”

He stares hard at you with furrowed brows as if he’s trying to figure you out. “…suit yourself.”

You smile broadly at him. The young man’s eyes widen and before he turns his head away, the faintest shade of pink dusting his pale cheeks. It’s a little cute that he appears to be embarrassed. Turns out that the big bad screamer isn’t as scary as he makes himself out to be.

A thought pops into your head. “Um…. I heard the nurses say that your name is ‘Saeran.’ Is it okay for me to call you that…?”

He turns down to face you, and at this angle, it looks almost as if those mint green eyes of his are glowing. For a moment, he debates, his expression unreadable. You can almost swear you see him blush ever so slightly once more as he says, “…fine.”


	2. hedgehog's dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after doing a poll on twitter I decided that I'll keep this fic current here too. Ahaha. So, you guys didn't have to suffer the two month wait people on tumblr did for this chapter. /shot 
> 
> I swear I'll try to be more frequent. As I kill my large WIP list it should happen... 
> 
> Anyway, here's chapter two! It's a lot milder than what I originally intended, which I guess is good. But the warning of the previous chapter still stands.... probably not gonna be for everyone in the end. /shot

Despite your resolve to keep visiting Saeran, tonight you’re a little more apprehensive than you have been the past two visits. The reason for this is, as it was the first night, the screaming. You’d heard him earlier in the day, as you usually did, but it was different this time. He was more hostile, as if he was trying to hurt someone specific without even laying a finger on them.

Naturally, you’re afraid that he’ll give you the same treatment and you reconsider visiting. It would be problematic if Saeran started screaming in the middle of the night for more reasons than one. But like a moth drawn to a flame, there’s still a part of you that can’t leave him alone.

The second you crack open the door to Saeran’s room your hear him hiss, “What are you doing here?!”

Quietly, you close the door behind you and turn around to face him. His eyes look almost as if they’re glowing angrily in the moonlight. Ignoring his unfriendly greeting, you give him a small smile, “I thought we went over this already.”

Saeran continues to scowl, but offers no further opposition. Taking that as a sign that he isn’t going to verbally chase you out, you take a seat in a corner of the room. True to what you’d said previously, you don’t say anything to him, instead choosing to fiddle with some folding paper you’d brought along. Although you prefer making stars since they’re relatively easy, you’d recently taken up learning how to fold cranes. It takes a little more concentration since you’re not too used to it, but you’ve moved past the point of needing a guide to make them.

You can feel Saeran’s gaze on you almost the entire time, but luckily it feels more like he’s just observing. After some time he finally speaks, his voice even, “Hey.”

“Hm?” You answer, eyes focused on the paper as you continue to fold.

“…you said before you hear me during the day, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why do you come here? Aren’t you scared?”

You put down the paper and look up at Saeran. “…didn’t we go over this before too?”

Saeran’s brow furrows, he’s obviously not pleased with this answer. “…you must be some kind of idiot.”

Your response is a self-depreciating laugh. “Probably.”

He continues to glower at you, obviously wanting you to give him a better response. You rise from your seat and walk around toward the window, gazing out it for a minute, thinking, then you look back at Saeran, a slightly apologetic smile on your face. “I guess I am a little scared.”

Saeran’s expression hardens for some reason.

“…though it’s mostly because I don’t want to get in trouble if you start screaming and the nurses come rushing in.” You turn and take a couple steps toward him, leaning in as you cup your mouth like you’re telling him a secret. “…I’ll be in big trouble if they find me since I’m not supposed to be here.”

Unfortunately, you leaned in a little too close. Saeran grabs you by the wrist and yanks you toward him. You manage to keep yourself from falling over, but find that his face is now really close to yours now, his eyes boring into yours.

“The nurses aren’t the ones you should be afraid of.” He’s so close you can feel his breath on you. Saeran’s grip on your wrist tightens as if he’s trying to break the bones. “I am.”

You gulp. It’s clear he’s trying to intimidate you, but you can’t back down. But at the same time you know you have to be careful, you are dealing with a screamer, after all. “…why?”

The intense look in Saeran’s eyes falters just a tiny bit. “Why?!”

“Yes. Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?!” He grounds out each word. “I will hurt you. You will suffer because of me.”

Saeran grips on your wrist even harder, digging his nails painfully into your skin. Something about his words strikes you as odd. You can see it on his face too. There’s a faint trace of something other than anger reflecting in his eyes. Even though Saeran is the aggressor, you feel as though you’re dealing with a cornered animal. Then it clicks in your head.

“Saeran… are you… maybe… afraid of getting hurt?” you ask quietly. His eyes widen and his hold on your wrist slackens just enough for you to pull it free. “Is that why you’re always screaming? To push people away so they don’t hurt you…?”

He stares at you, mouth slightly ajar as if he can’t believe the words that you just said. You softly repeat his name and the sound of your voice is enough to snap him out of his daze. He extends his arms out, grabbing you by the front of your shirt and jerks you back toward him.

“You don’t know anything about me!” he snarls, shaking you angrily.

“Maybe I don’t, bu-”

“Shut up! Shut up! _Shut up_!” His voice gets increasingly louder and he starts to sound less angry and more upset. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug. Saeran automatically struggles, but you refuse to let him go.

“Saeran, please, calm down…” you tell him in your most soothing voice. “I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

You lock your hands together as he continues to try and break free. “Don’t lie to me!”

Saeran continues to call you a liar over and over, but you ignore him. You figure he wouldn’t listen even if you tried to argue. Instead, you continue to hold him and keep repeating that he’ll be okay. After what feels like hours, Saeran finally stops struggling and when you feel like he’s completely calmed down you let go.

“…do you feel better now…?” your voice is a little hoarse from talking so much.

He grimaces in response and after a moment says, “…You’re wrong.”

Saeran’s reaction says otherwise, but you don’t see any point in arguing with him. “If you say so.”

His eyes narrow. He probably can tell that you doubt him, but seems to decide that he doesn’t want to push the matter any further. He looks past you and out the the window. You can see the moon reflecting in his eyes as he stares at it. Eventually he looks back to you, “…why?”

You tilt your head in confusion. “Why what?”

He gives you a pointed look.

“…Oh. Do you mean the hug and stuff?” you pause as he nods his head. “Sorry about that… But you do feel better because of it, right?”

His eyes narrow and he frowns. “….don’t think that I’m going to start trusting you because of this.”

You still don’t quite believe him, but you don’t bother telling him that. Instead, you give him a tiny smile, “…if you say so, Saeran, if you say so.”


	3. primrose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you take saeran out for a midnight stroll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh. so i'm also updating this one after forever!
> 
> v route is out and... what a ride, lol. and ray! what a blessing! and a curse! how to write him now.... anyway, for this fic, since it follows the secret ends deep story his characterization will follow that (or i will try to keep it to that LOL). of course, traces of ray will appear, more so later, but there's an inkling here. i had the garden thing planned already so i'm glad that worked out in my favor. hehe. 
> 
> this is also eunju's first chapter! i hope you guys like her! 
> 
> ahhh... this chapter was kinda hard to write, for many reasons, and to be honest, i'm not completely satisfied with it, but i still hope you guys enjoy!

“Sooo… you know the screamer next door…?”

Your best friend, Eunju, gives you an inquisitive, yet suspicious look. “…what about him?”

“I… met him.”

Her jaw slackens and you can tell that she’s got about a hundred questions to ask you. After a minute, she finally settles on one. “You… what?!”

You nod, “Yeah, he’s… not so bad once he’s calmed down.”

“That’s still dangerous! You could have-” She begins to reprimand you, but then midway through she realizes something else. “Wait, did you sneak around at night to see him? You know you’re not supposed to do that!”

“Ehehehe….”

Eunju merely gives you a deadpan stare. You know that you’re not supposed to wander the hospital at night, but some nights you get bored and just can’t help it.

“Initially… I just wanted to see what he looked like,” you admit. “But… something about him seemed so sad… And I couldn’t just leave him alone.”

“Hm… is that so?”

You nod.

“Then… was it like love at first sight?” she asks in a teasing tone.

“Wh-what? No!” you answer, sputtering. You didn’t think she would actually ask something like that.

However, Eunju ignores you and places a hand to her chest in exaggerated relief. “I’m so glad… I didn’t think you would ever find anyone!”

“Hey now…” you give her a playful frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her only response is a soft, sad smile. 

* * *

“…do you ever leave this room?”

Saeran shoots you a glare as if to tell you that you’re asking a stupid question.

However, you just shake it off with a nervous laugh. “Ah, well… I guess what I really should be asking is… ‘do you want to leave this room?’”

He cocks an eyebrow. This question has definitely piqued his interest. “Are you saying you can help me leave this place?”

“This room,” you emphasize. “I can’t really get you out of the hospital.”

Saeran goes back to looking annoyed. “Then what good is leaving this room?”

“I think that going out and getting fresh air every now and then is good for your health,” you answer plainly, messing around with some of the folding paper you’ve brought with you.

“It’s too troublesome and a waste of time.” It’s obvious that Saeran doesn’t believe you. Though, you’re not surprised in the slightest. He’s so pale that you doubt he goes out at all.

“Well then,” you toss the finished crane in a small jar you’d brought to store the ones you’ve made and stand up. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go with me on a walk, but since you think it’s troublesome, I guess I’ll go on my own.”

Ignoring the bewildered look on Saeran’s face, you make your way to the door. Slowly, you open it and peek outside, making sure the coast is clear before slipping out. You quietly walk down the darkened hallway until you reach the corner leading to the main hallway. Since it’s so late, the main hallway is devoid of anyone, but you wait just in case.

A moment later, something brushes up against your hand, causing you to jump. You whirl around to find Saeran standing there, a disgruntled look on his face. Surprised to see that he actually followed you, you whisper, “What are you doing?”

“Didn’t you want to go on a walk?” he answers in a petulant voice.

“I did!” you smile at him, but he just looks away with a complicated look on his face.

“Well, hurry it up then.”

You turn back and check the main hall once more. When you confirm that it’s clear you signal to Saeran before slipping through the halls. Of course, you’re used to sneaking around the hospital, but you’re surprised that Saeran manages match you in stealthiness. Eventually, you lead him to a set of glass doors that lead outside. You test it to make sure it’s unlocked before pushing it open. For a moment, moonlight fills the hallway as you and Saeran steal outside.

You take a deep breath, enjoying the feel of the cool night air. “We’re here.”

Saeran looks around, clearly confused. “A… garden?”

You nod, “That’s right. This hospital has a therapeutic garden. Your room is on the other side of the building so you can’t see it from outside your window.”

Saeran doesn’t respond, but you watch as he looks around the garden with an unreadable expression. He doesn’t really seem like the type to like this kind of place, so you’re relieved to find that he doesn’t appear to hate it. Tentatively, you approach him and reach out your hand to grab his. He flinches at your touch but doesn’t pull away.

“Come on, let’s walk,” you say, urging him on. “This place has a security guard too. They’ll find us if we linger in one spot too long.”

Somewhat begrudgingly, Saeran follows as you lead him down the closest path. All sorts of different plants and decorative structures line the walkway which juts off in different directions every so often. You know that there’s vegetable garden as well as a few sections where patients are allowed to water and tend to plants so you figure that’s where those sections lead. In the distance you can hear the sound of running water, probably from the fountain that serves as the center of the entire garden.

A bunch of flowers a little ways off of the path catch your eye and you move toward them to get a better look. You murmur quietly to yourself, “These are pretty…”

“They’re primroses.”

Your eyes widen and you turn to Saeran. He’s not looking at you, but at the flowers with a strange look on his face. The last thing you expected was for him to know the name of a plant, much less a flower.

“Do you…” you ask slowly, “…know what they mean?”

He finally turns his attention to you. “Why would I know something dumb like that?”

Something about the way his face is twisted in irritation makes you think that he might be lying. “Saeran… do you happen to like flowers?”

“Flowers are useless.”

“…maybe, but they are pretty.”

You sense Saeran shift a little closer and you think that he’s trying to get a better look at the flowers, but then you feel his breath tickling your ears. In a low tone, he whispers, “So what was your real reason for bringing me here?”

“I-I told you!” you whirl around so you’re face to face. “It’s good to get fresh air every now and then…”

His eyes search yours, trying to see if you’re hiding some kind of ulterior motive.

“And.. to be honest, I come here sometimes…” you admit quietly. “I think it’s calming… and I thought you might… “

Saeran doesn’t say anything and you become acutely aware of how close your faces happen to be to one another. You gulp a little, feeling your heart rate increase a tiny bit. His eyes flit away from you, for a second, and he yanks you into the shadow of a nearby tree. Before you can ask what he’s doing he covers your mouth with his hand.

“Shut up,” he hisses quietly, moving his hand away from your mouth.

You nod and look in the direction he had looked earlier. The sound of footsteps reaches your ears and you see the guard walk by where you just were. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to suspect that you or Saeran are here and continues on his way. Once he’s gone you let out a sigh of relief.

“I guess we should take that as our cue to leave, right?” you say.

Saeran doesn’t answer, but you figure it probably is. You pull at his hands, and quietly lead him back to the garden’s entrance.


	4. wish theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after visiting the garden, saeran's started to behave a little strangely....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was fun to write! i... think. LOL. tho i'm a bit nervous, but oh well. AHAHA. 
> 
> wish theory happens to be one of my personal things. i think it makes sense. /shot
> 
> anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter!!!

Something strange is going on.

You sneakily peek at Saeran, who, as usual, is just sitting on his bed. But instead of gazing at the sky outside the window, like you’re used to, his eyes are fixed on you. When you shift, you raise your eyes so that they meet his. For a moment, Saeran holds your gaze before moving his head to look outside. You watch briefly before turning your attention back to the partially folded crane in your hands. When you finish, you toss it in the jar and you grab another sheet to start on the next one. It’s at this moment you feel his eyes on you once more. The entire night has been like this: he’ll stare, you’ll look, then he’ll turn away, only to stare again once you’re attention is back on the cranes. You don’t quite understand why he’s paying so much attention to you. You’re fairly sure you look the same as you always do so it can’t be that. Part of you wonders if taking him to the garden has anything to do with it, but nothing really noteworthy happened there…

Although the memory of the closeness of his body and his warm breath tickling your ear when you were hiding from the guard is enough to cause your heart skip a beat.

You shake your head a little as if it will help you forget. And it does, but just a bit. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Saeran looking at you again. Feeling like you’ve had enough of this visual game of tag, you lightly glare at him, “What is it?”

Saeran looks away for a second, as if he’s debating, before turning back to you, “…what are those… things?”

You blink. Then you hold up the crane you’ve been working on. Is that really what he’s been wanting to ask all this time? “This?”

Saeran nods.

“It’s a paper crane,” you explain as you resume your folding. “Well, it’s going to be, anyway.”

“…why are you always making them?” Saeran then gestures to the half full jar on the table next to him. “Don’t you have enough?”

You shake your head, “No, I have only… around 350 or so? But I need one thousand in total.”

“Why?”

“…well, there’s a legend,” you explain softly, using your nails to define the creases in the paper. “If you make one thousand paper cranes a wish of yours will be granted.”

Saeran falls silent for a moment, but then when he speaks again his tone is harsh and dismissive. “…do you really think your wish will be granted by something like that?”

You’re not surprised in the slightest by Saeran’s reaction. It is kind of silly, after all, so you can’t blame him for not believing in such a thing. You give him a sheepish smile, “Well, you see… I kinda have a theory.”

You hesitate before continuing, “Wishes… work on a kind of point system. That’s why some wishes don’t get granted right away; you need to earn the points for them. And the way you do that is by doing stuff like wishing on falling stars, dandelions, birthday candles… Each of those actions is worth a certain amount of points depending on how often you can do it.  So you earn points and eventually, when you’ve earned enough, the wish gods cash in your points and there you go! Wish granted.”

Once you’re done with your little explanation the look on Saeran’s face only grows more severe. It’s clear that he thinks your theory is just a load of crap. Of course, he might be right since you really have no way of proving it.

“…so, to answer your question… I guess so. If I wish for something hard enough, then it’ll come true,” you falter a little at the end. “…at least… that’s what I want to believe.”

Saeran scowls at you, “…how stupid.”

“I… there’s…” you start to try and explain yourself but the words get caught in your throat. You can’t help but feel hurt by Saeran’s words. It’s not like he’s wrong, per se, but to hear someone outright tell you that it’s stupid… Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s stupid to put so much hope into something that can’t be guaranteed, but… what else can you do? You swallow thickly, it’s got to be better than just doing nothing, right?

As the moments tick by, the air between the two of you starts to feel awkward and uncomfortable. It’s much earlier than normal, but part of you thinks that maybe you should just leave for the night. You stand up to hastily start to grab your things so that you can go, ignoring the somewhat alarmed look on Saeran’s face. Just as you’re about to grab the stuff on the side table Saeran reaches out and grabs you by the wrist.

“Wait.”

You look at him, confused and he stares back, those mint green eyes of his as unreadable as ever. When he doesn’t say anything else, you try to pull your wrist free, but his grip tightens just slightly.

“Saeran….”

He continues to look at you, as if he’s searching for something. Though for what, you’re not quite sure.

“Listen, I gotta-”

“Show me.”

“Huh?!” Show him? Show him what? It takes you a second to realize he’s talking about the cranes. “Show you… how to make them?”

He nods.

You give Saeran a dumbfounded look, “Didn’t you say it was stupid?”

Saeran scowls, but holds out his free hand. You’re not quite sure what triggered this sudden change of heart, but it doesn’t seem like he’ll relent. You gingerly pull one sheet of paper from the stack with your unrestrained hand and drop it onto his waiting palm. He slides it upward with his thumb so that he’s holding it between his fingers, albeit somewhat awkwardly.

You wait for Saeran to let or your arm, but when he doesn’t you wiggle it a little, “Um… I… can’t really show you like this.”

His eyes widen and he finally releases your wrist. You grab yourself a sheet of paper and sit back down, hesitantly scooting the chair so that it’s a little closer to him. Then you hold up the paper so he can see what you’re doing.

“So, um, you fold it in half horizontally, and then the other way…” you instruct, using your paper as a visual guide for him. “And then diagonally both ways…”

Saeran’s brow furrows as he tries to follow your instructions one by one. He manages to finish without too much of a problem and you both hold up your completed cranes. Having folded so many already yours is relatively perfect. Saeran’s, on the other hand… His face scrunches up with frustration as he compares the two. The one he made is a bit misshapen and you can tell that somewhere along the way his creases got misaligned.

“It’s okay!” you tell him in an attempt to comfort him. “My first ones looked like that too, so if you practice enough…”

Saeran grunts in disgust, staring at the imperfect crane in his open palm. Then, suddenly, he squashes it in his hand. You gasp and reach out, wrapping both hands around his fist.

“Saeran, don’t! You’ll crush it!”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s already messed up.”

“So?” you pry his fingers open one by one. “You shouldn’t smush it just for that…”

Saeran doesn’t say anything, as you free the crane from its prison. Now it looks more like a scrunched up candy wrapper than a crane, but you think you can still salvage it. Gently, you pluck it from Saeran’s hand and rub it between your fingers to loosen the kinks before smoothing it out. You manage to fix it so that it looks like it did before, though you can’t get rid of the wrinkles he made when he squished it.

You let out a relieved sigh, glad that the little crane wasn’t beyond saving, “Well, if you don’t want it, I’ll keep it. Is that okay?”

“Whatever.”

You smile a tiny bit and place it next to the jar. Saeran shoots you a confused look and you explain, “This one’s extra special, so I’m going to keep it to myself instead of putting it in with the thousand.”

Saeran’s cheeks flush a light pink hue and he holds out his hand yet again.

“Do you… want to try again?” you ask.

“What do you think?” Saeran asks in a deadpan voice. You can’t help but giggle a little. There’s something cute about his childish behavior. He frowns slightly as you hand him another sheet, but doesn’t say anything.

“Okay then… let’s try again from the top…” you say in an encouraging tone. “So, first you gotta fold it half both ways making sure each side is perfectly even.”

Saeran makes no move to try and follow your instructions, instead he gives you an expectant look. The two of you stare at each other, both waiting on the other for something. Finally, you break the silence, “Uh… Saeran?”

“Where’s yours?”

“I’m just gonna focus on helping you make one this time,” you explain then gesture for him to go ahead and start. Saeran looks a bit apprehensive but he raises his hands and begins. He lines up the edges of the paper so that they match perfectly, but instead of folding the paper, his eyes flick upwards to meet yours. Thinking that he might be wondering if it’s okay to make the crease, you bob your head in approval. Then he carefully folds the paper, proving your guess right.

Saeran continues meticulously work at the paper crane, waiting for you to confirm each and every fold before he goes through with it. Because of that, it takes him more than three times longer than it normally would to finish, but the resulting crane is practically flawless. He holds the completed product up proudly.

“It looks great, Saeran!” you congratulate him with a wide grin. “Good job!”

Clearly he’s pleased that this one turned out much better the last and you notice the smuggest little grin tug at the corners of his lips.

And you wish you hadn’t.

(But the fluttery feeling you have in your chest tells you that you’re happy that you did.)


	5. memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a dream of the past, you and eunju talk about saeran among other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Managed to finish this chapter before the release of Ray's route! /o/ That being said I could have done a better job proofreading. Oops. So please forgive any typos I may have put. Thanks goes to Kelsey for helping me out with some coherency stuff.
> 
> Unfortunately, Saeran's absent this chapter, and in his place is a lot of information about MC. To be honest, every since the first chapter I've been nervous about it... Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
> 
> And of course, thank you so much for the kudos and comments. They make me so very happy!

_It was rare for you to leave your room on your own._

_It wasn’t that you didn’t like to go out, but you’d already explored every nook and cranny of your home only to find nothing really of interest. When you were younger, the maids would occasionally play hide and seek with you. But when your parents found out, they ordered them to stop, saying that a child shouldn’t be interfering with an adult’s work._

_“Pardon my intrusion.”_

_The door to your room quietly creaked open, revealing one of the house maids. You looked up from your desk and watched her, waiting for her to explain the reason why she’d come. If anything, she had probably come to tell you that your parents had signed you up for yet another extracurricular activity. You’d thought that violin and piano lessons would have been enough._

_“…yes?”_

_“…A family has moved in next door,” the maid said quietly. You’d noticed the moving trucks from the window, but you still didn’t understand why she had come to tell you. “…they have a child around your age.”_

_Your eyes widened. A… child? You felt something warm burst in your chest. A neighbor your age was someone you could befriend. Maybe your parents wouldn’t let the servants play with you, but perhaps they’d be more lenient with a child. Automatically, you rose from your seat and made your way to the door. The maid, with a small smile on her face, stepped to the side, allowing you to run past. You bounded down the stairs and out the front door. When you got to the gate, you promptly unlocked it and ran onto the sidewalk toward the neighbor’s house._

_You watched as a bunch of movers carried a myriad of boxes into the house. Where was the child? Your head whipped back and forth as you searched. The maid had never said if they were a boy or a girl, but you figured you’d be able to find them amongst the sea of adults. But you couldn’t seem to find them. Were they maybe inside?_

_You wondered if you could maybe sneak inside. Your parents would be mad if they found out. But it always felt like they were mad at you anyway; they never let you have any kind of fun._

_“Excuse me?”_

_You jumped at the sound of a voice behind you. Slowly, you turned to find a young girl around your age._

_“I… uh…” you tried to think of something to say, suddenly feeling nervous. “I… live next door.”_

_The girl’s smile brightened at the sound of your words. “Really?! It’s nice to meet you! My name is Eunju Kim!”_

_She outstretched her hand towards yours and after a moment of hesitation you extended your own hand to meet hers._

_“I’m…”_

* * *

“Mm…”

The dream fades out as you slowly begin to stir. Part of you wants to go back to sleep, but you’ve crossed too much of the conscious threshold to go back now. You blink your eyes open to find Eunju staring at you, an amused smile playing at her lips.

“Good morning, sunshine, or should I maybe say, good afternoon?”

Your face scrunches up a bit, “…what… time is it?”

“One in the afternoon,” she answers, the smile never leaving her face. “You know, you’ve been getting up late these days… is it perhaps because of your recent midnight visits to a certain screamer boy?”

You flush automatically at the mention of Saeran.

Eunju’s smile widens upon seeing your response and you look away from her, feeling even more embarrassed. After you told her that he’s not as bad as the screaming might imply, she’s taken every possible opportunity to tease you. Eunju leans closer toward you and asks, “…did you see him last night too?”

Part of you thinks that, at this point, it should be obvious, given what she just said. Despite that, Eunju merely watches and waits, an expectant look glowing in her eyes. Finally, you nod, “I… did.”

Looking delighted, Eunju follows up with another question, “Did you guys go on another garden date?”

Your face immediately heats up and you sputter, “Th-that wasn’t a date!”

“You don’t think so?”

“No! I just thought it would be a nice place to go since he’s always stuck in that room!”

Eunju raises an eyebrow and you have the feeling that she doesn’t believe you. “Then what did you do last night?”

“I…” you hesitate for the briefest second. You don’t really want to lie to Eunju but you also don’t want to tell her what you’re actually making. They’re supposed to be a surprise. “I was showing him how to make paper stars.”

“Paper wishing stars, huh…” She glances over at the table beside the hospital bed where a few tall jars filled to the brim with hundreds of the colorful stars sit. The both of you had worked on them together, slowly filling jar after jar over the past couple of months. Gingerly, she reaches in one of the jars and pulls out one single star and rolls it between her finger. Then she looks up at you, “…hey, do you have feelings for him?”

You can see where she’s coming from, but at the same time it seems like such an odd thing to ask. “…we haven’t known each other for very long… Plus I can’t even say I know him very well.”

“And since when has either of those things been a requirement for liking people?” Eunju argues in a gentle tone. “Some people click right away. Like how you and I did.”

You recall the dream you had earlier. After that very first introduction, you and Eunju had become the best of friends. And it’s been that way ever since. Acknowledging her point, you nod, though… “I’m not really sure if you can really say he and I clicked…”

“But you keep going back, don’t you?” she points out.

“And? Do you think I like him just because of that?” you frown a little bit.

“It’s just… I’ve never seen you so interested in someone else…” She pauses for a moment, then then adds in a thoughtful tone. “Maybe you don’t have feelings now, but I think that you definitely could if you gave it a shot. He certainly seems like he could be interested in you.”

You almost tell her that that’s not possible, pushing down the memories of the closeness from the night in the garden and the smile from night before. It probably wouldn’t be wise to look to much into his actions and assume his feelings from those, but along with those memories the memory of that fluttery feeling also comes to mind. And if all those love stories Eunju’s shoved your way over the years are any indication those feelings are possibly a prelude to more profound feelings. “I… maybe. It’s still… too early to tell.”

Eunju gives you a satisfied you a satisfied smile, “Maybe… You know, maybe it’d help if you actually went home once in a while and pick out some nicer clothes to wear when you visit!”

“What?!” you exclaim. “I do go home!”

Eunju crosses her arms, giving you a pointed look, “And when was the last time you went home?”

You take a quick second to think about it, “…two days ago.”

“…maybe I should ask the nurses to not let you use the showers so you go home frequently like a normal person.”

“Two days is not that long. Plus, you know as well as I do that I’ve stayed longer! Besides…” you pause to give her a cocky grin. “Who do you think the nurses are going you listen to- you or me, the hospital director’s kid?”

“…you never know, maybe they’ll listen to me; make you go home every night and give your parents some peace of mind.”

You scoff automatically, “I doubt they’re worried; they know where I am.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Eunju frowning with a concerned look in her eye. You know exactly what she wants to say. The two of you have had that conversation countless times over the years. You know where she’s coming from, why she has the opinion that she does. Eunju has a good relationship with her parents while yours is… complicated.

You barely saw them as a child, but they’d make all sorts of demands in regards to your education and extracurriculars without considering your feelings in the slightest. It was terrible, suffocating even. But through some miracle, they allowed you to spend time with Eunju and her family so long as your grades didn’t suffer. And even now you’re grateful for it; Eunju and her parents gave you a place to go when things got too hard or lonely at home and if it weren’t for that you may have turned out much worse off.

“…don’t say that… They’re just… busy, you know?” Eunju tells you in a soothing voice. “…I’m sure they care, they just have their own way of doing it.”

“…I guess,” you mutter bitterly. “…if they didn’t care, they probably would have ignored me completely when I asked if they’d help your family with the cost of you staying here.”

“…yes, and my family and I are eternally grateful for that.”

“It’s the least I could have done… given everything your family has done for me,” you say softly. The only benefit you’ve ever seen from being your father’s child is that it made it easy for Eunju to get access to treatment when she became ill. It was the first time you’d ever begged and pleaded with him for something. You’d like to think that maybe you got through somehow, but there’s a tiny part of you thinks he may have agreed to get you to leave him alone. “Everything is good, right? The room? The food?”

Eunju laughs a little, “Yes, yes, everything is just fine.”

You pout a tiny bit at her nonchalant answer, but you also know she probably wouldn’t tell you anything different. “…well, if you do need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask me.”

She smiles and nods when the both of you hear a knock on the door. A second later it slides open and reveals one of the nurses. She shoots the two of you a smile as she comes in with a tray in hand.

“I’ve brought your lunch!” the nurse says cheerfully, setting the tray down on the overbed table. Then, with a wave she heads back to the door. “I’ll be back to take the tray in about an hour!”

Eunju nods her head and starts to eat. In the meantime, you reach into your bag and fish out a bag filled with strips for making paper stars and busy yourself with making those. After a couple minutes, Eunju starts to finish up so you get up and walk over to the fridge on the other side of the room. You open it and inside is a long row of pudding cups that you bought for Eunju. While they’re not the most healthy treats in the world, the both of you have loved them ever since you were kids. Usually the both of you end up eating one a day. Two if it’s a really bad day.

“Why don’t you give one to Saeran?” Eunju suggests from behind you.

You turn to look at her, “You sure?”

She shrugs, “It’s not like I’m hurting for pudding. Besides, you’re the one who bought them after all.”

You look back at the pudding cups. Somehow, you doubt Saeran’s getting any sweet treats along with his meals outside of fruit. It’s not that fruit is bad, it’s just not the same though… But does he even like pudding? You don’t even know… What if he doesn’t? Would bringing a pudding offend him if he didn’t?

“What’s up?” Eunju asks, interrupting your internal debate.

“…what if he doesn’t like them?”

“What kind of person doesn’t like sweets?” Eunju responds in a matter-of-fact tone. “And on the off chance that he doesn’t, you can just eat it yourself. It’s a win-win, really.”

She has a point. If he likes it, then you’ve done something nice for him and if he doesn’t then you get pudding. You nod a little to yourself deciding that you’ll bring him one later. Then, you grab a pudding for you and Eunju before shutting the fridge. After you hand her one, you take yours back to your chair, popping it open the second you sit down.

You should probably have a proper lunch, but pudding will do for now. Using the tiny spoon that came with the pudding, you take a bite. You don’t know what they put in this pudding but it always tastes so good and before you know it you’re eaten the entire thing. Eunju, on the other hand, seems to be taking her time, she’s about halfway done by the time you finish.

There’s another knock at the door, and you glance in that direction wondering who it is. The door slides open and the person who walks in is Dr. Kwon, Eunju’s doctor. He glances at you first and smiles, “…I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here, should I?”

You bow your head respectfully, “Hello, Dr. Kwon…”

He nods, acknowledging your greeting and turns to Eunju, “And how are you feeling today?”

Eunju puts her spoon down and gives him a smile, “I’m doing well.”

“That’s good.”

He walks a little more into the room and and gives you an expectant look. Realizing that he wants to have a private talk with Eunju you rise from your chair. You shoot her a smile, “I’ll be back later.”

Eunju nods and you give her a small wave, and walk past Dr. Kwon out into the hall, shutting the door behind you. It’d probably be a good time to get lunch or something. You wonder if you should just get something from the hospital cafe or go to one of the nearby restaurants. Both the main entrance and the hospital cafe are in the same direction, so you figure you can think it over as you walk. You’ll pass Saeran’s room too, so maybe you can pop in and say a quick hello. It’d be different to see him during the daytime hours.

But as you start walking you realize that there are a couple people outside of Saeran’s door, one of the nurses and a young man with bright red hair. Too bad. You’ll just have to wait until later to see Saeran. The man talking with the nurse bows a little, looking somewhat apologetic before the nurse says something to him and walks away. You wonder if Saeran was causing problems again. But you didn’t hear screaming so it must have not been too bad.

Hearing your approach, the man turns his head toward you. Now that you can see his face a little better, something about him seems oddly familiar even though you’re fairly sure you’ve never seen him before. Someone like him seems like they’d stand out. You make eye contact and and his expression changes to something akin to recognition. But as you walk past he doesn’t say anything.

At least not at first.

“Excuse me?”

The two of you are the only ones in the hallway now so you’re the only person he can be talking to. You stop and turn around to face him. Now that you’re closer you can see him a little more clearly, and it becomes apparent to you why he looked so familiar.

The hair is different, and the eyes are different, but… this man looks a lot like Saeran.


End file.
